The Bear and the Baby
This is a writing sample from Scripted writer Magda Phili
I am not exactly a fan of cartoons. But I have learned to embrace them.
I run a freelance business and a lot of my work gets done while my 6 year old is at home with me. When the projects I work on have tight and overlapping deadlines, I find myself stopping right before I go pick my little one up from school and then I continue working after dinner until hitting late hours depending on the project, how (not) tired I am and if I took a midday nap. Working on the weekends is always a possibility and that is when I wish I had my mom or mother-in-law around. But I do not dwell on that thought too long because it is just self harming.
Now that my 6-year-old is attending first grade at the elementary school, more juggling is required due to the homework that needs to get done. On the other hand, a more disciplined routine is in place to accommodate this new phase.
Our TV is in the kitchen, which is where I work and where my little one watches cartoons. Basically, we spend most of our time together in the kitchen. Working and listening to cartoons has become something like a second nature for me. Or you may say, it is my "working background". We all got to start from somewhere.
That is how I became familiar with Masha, a cheeky, mischievous, exasperating little girl, and the Bear, a retired Circus entertainer desperately seeking for peace and quiet. I love that show. It's so real about what many parents go through. Sit down, get up, go save baby, run like mad, wash, give instructions, feel worried, tired, infuriated. Or happy. Yeap. The happiness is indescribable actually as compared to the juggling required.
For those you haven't watched this Russian cartoon (it's pretty famous in Italy where I am writing from) please visit the site here.
I feel sorry for the old Bear. And I always say to my 6 year-old "hey, don't you dare act like Masha, she's naughty and a lot younger than you are".
The Bear and Masha story is actually rather educating for adults, if you see it from another perspective.
The Bear doesn't have a strong voice. He is not firm enough. He is too good with no particular patterns that would help him cope with that heavy-duty little exasperating girl.
As a parent, you need a voice that gets heard. You can't let your children be the captains. You are the captain. You manage this ship. You need a clear plan and follow it with determination.
If you are looking for better ways to communicate, it would be wise to work on developing a clear and firm parenting style. If you are investing time into your children's education, you can definitely invest time in getting the message through.
For example, my little one since some time ago would not let me speak on the phone. When it was friends who called me, they would understand why we got interrupted but not being able to talk is annoying and, above all, unacceptable, especially if the person who calls is a potential or existing client. That said, I am not much of a phone person so this would only apply for incoming calls. If I need to say something, I send an email or send a message via WhatsApp. For friends I try to use the phone more. On another note, I have realised that my direct-approach by phone (and in person) phobia is rather unfortunate for getting direct translation clients because writing emails can never be as powerful as talking to a potential client. At least this is what my experience has taught me. Maybe I need to write more effective emails. Perhaps I need to find the right people to email. Actually, I think I should stop thinking about all that. I have great clients. End of parenthesis.
The Bear, to me, represents those tired and overly nice parents some of us are, not realising that we can do something to change our Mashas.
And before changing your Masha, you need to work on the Bear. On how you perceive your role as a parent. If you are too nice, you are only going to be feeling wretched when your children get older as their demands will be a lot higher. Since I didn't want to see myself any near to that situation, some time ago, I knew I had to get myself a firm voice and a clear plan. The results have been positive. My little one is listening.
With a specific training approach, tailored to your needs and those of your child's and your family's (never forget that every situation is different and there is no rule that fits all!), children are more likely to understand and respect boundaries You will feel better. Less anxious. I am not saying it's easy because I know what it took me to work on this "Bear". And it is still a work in progress. I don't want to give out the impression "I know this inside out" but I think it's good to start doing something about it as soon as you realise that your voice is not heard. This leads to baby steps in effective communication.
Talking of baby steps, I wanted to let you know I wrote a piece for the Bulletin of the Institute of Translation and Interpreting back in January this year on the topic of specialising in the pregnancy and parenting market. To write this article I used some of my translation experience in this field, my personal experience as a parent and, last but not least, my fearless observation skills and sociological "radar".
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