Chronic Patterns in Relationships

Chronic Patterns In Relationships

While relationships can bring us great joy and companionship, they can also be a great source of stress when things go wrong. If you’ve found yourself consistently facing the same struggles in every relationship, it may be time to examine chronic relationship patterns.

Chronic relationship patterns can form without us even realizing it. Whether it’s the result of a chaotic childhood or an internal struggle, the habits that have become ingrained in us can sometimes sabotage our relationships.

Although chronic patterns in relationships can be difficult to break, it is more than achievable with the right steps. The first step in addressing chronic patterns in relationships involves recognition.

Recognizing Chronic Patterns in Relationships

Chronic patterns in relationships can come in many different forms. Often, the habits ingrained in us are a product of our childhood. Several research studies suggest that people continue to repeat patterns that were modeled from them during childhood. Whether it’s a repetitive argument or failed relationships at the same point, it can be hard to recognize chronic patterns in relationships until it’s too late.

Perhaps a close friend or family member has recognized your patterns from afar. Or maybe you’ve realized yourself that something needs to change in order to achieve a better relationship. Whatever the reason, it is doable to intervene and address these chronic patterns.

Signs You May be in a Chronic Pattern with your Relationship

Some of the most common chronic patterns seen in relationships include:

• Being too needy, overly clingy, or intrusive• Pushing away, avoiding intimacy• Defensive tendencies that lead to arguments• Trying to change the partner• Assuming you “know all” in the relationship• Failure to confront problems• Placing blame on the partner• Unwillingness to make sacrifices• Poor communication patterns• Ignoring the requests, needs, or desires of the partner

Steps to Break Chronic Patterns

If you’ve determined you may be in a chronic pattern with your relationship, it’s not too late to correct it. While each situation is unique, it can be difficult to break chronic patterns that have become ingrained in us. Consider the following steps you can take to help you break chronic relationship patterns.

1. Define the Problem: Before you can appropriately address a concern, you’ll need to have a clear understanding of the problem that needs fixing.

2. Acknowledge the Chronic Pattern: The next step to breaking the pattern is to acknowledge which chronic pattern is occurring. This involves a realization that the same problem continues to arise, leading to relationship problems.

3. Honestly Assess Where you Went Wrong: Consider your own behaviors in the relationship to assess what actions you've taken that have contributed to the chronic pattern. This part can be difficult, as it requires admitting fault. However, it is a crucial step in working to break chronic relationship patterns.

It can be easy to place blame when assessing the situation. However, if a problem continues to arise across all of your relationships, the issue may lie in your own actions.

4. Taking Action to Address Concerns: Once you’ve identified where your behaviors could be changed, you’re well on your way to breaking the next cycle. Pay attention to the scenarios leading up to the chronic pattern to see what could be done differently. Using a proactive approach, you can use mindfulness to change your behaviors in the situation.

5. Seeking Help: Some types of chronic patterns in relationships can be addressed on your own. However, deeply ingrained problems that persist can sometimes be hard to handle by yourself. In these instances, it can be beneficial to seek outside help. Asking for help can be the first step in helping to break your chronic relationship patterns.

Leading Light Counselling offers assistance from our skilled practitioners who can help you to overcome your chronic relationship patterns. We work with each client to create an individualized approach to help them achieve their goals. To get started seeking help with our counseling services, request an appointment today.

By Emily Lisner